Let me start off by saying #1stworldproblems

I’ve been having wifi connectivity issues for a while now, so I got comcast out here to take a look today.  We do not have tv or cable – just internet.  Our downstairs laptop runs through a projector so we watch our tv that way.

MLB.TV has been great!  But I really, realllly miss MLB Network – especially Quick Pitch in the morning.  The technician told me I could go on chat and ask if and how to watch MLB Network online.  Great!

Tonight, I hopped on and casually spoke with a support dude during the A’s game tonight.  It quickly turned into your stereotypical comedy of events that you would expect from a phone tech guy.

After about an hour going back and forth with “John”, I politely said we needed to wrap this up and I just needed to know if and how to be able to watch the MLB Network on the internet through xfinity, because we do not have television.  He said he had to disconnect and refresh.  Well, apparently he meant that he needed to disconnect me because once he said that, my connection was GONE.  I missed the entire end of the game.

After it finally got back online, he was no longer there.

Enter Rajani.

Rajani was a nice fellow, but I must admit, after an hour + of this, I was a little more short fused.  I told him up front I’ve been on for an hour and wanted a QUICK resolution.  I have no television and want to know if/how I can watch the MLB Network online through xfinity.

The same pleasantries I received from John were given by Rajani as well.  These niceties were stretched out way, way too long.  How are you?  So good of you to contact us.  How can I provide you with excellent service?  Is your day well?  I will be more than happy to help you.

Rajani starts using my name gratuitously … in almost what seemed like a condescending manner.

Him: Tanner, I need your help in understanding something.
Him: Tanner, what browser are you using?
Me:  All of them – it doesn’t matter though.  I just want access to the MLB Network online … or even see if it is possible.
Him:  Tanner, it does matter.
Me:  Rajani, it does not – I’m trying to tell you I just want access to the MLB Network, or to see if it is even possible!

This went on for a while.  Then he said please wait until I check for you.

During our chat session, I requested him to NOT disconnect my modem for a refresh as it was not a technical issue.



I got back online, and caught him just before he was heading out.

Me: “Why did you disconnect me when I asked you not to?”
Him:  “But sir, Tanner, I did not.  It was a technical issue.”

After I told him one more time … I just want to see if and how I can watch the MLB Network Online, he started asking me about the television.  I told him again for the 50th time … me … no … tv have.

“OH!  Let me get you to another person.”


Enter: Poppy.

For the third time, I am given the same treatment.  Gratuitous pleasantries … at this point, I’m CERTAIN that they are doing this to spite me because I

have made it known that as it is well past mid-night, just need something simple.  I do not have television and I want to know if/how to watch the MLB

Network online through xfinity.

After telling Poppy what I needed, and giving him/her a full disclosure that I am VERY frustrated right now, Poppy decides it is a good idea to tell me what

the details of my current package are.

But why.  What was Poppy doing?  What is up Poppy’s sleeve?  Did Poppy think that my simple request of watching MLB Network online was really a cleaverly

disguised question that actually meant that I needed to know what plan I had with them?  The world may never know.

I re-iterated what I wanted.  Say it with me people …

I do not have televeision.  I want to see if and how I can watch the MLB Network online.

Poppy then directed me to the MLB website.

No, Poppy.  I want the MLB Network through xfinity.

Then Poppy offered the MLB package which is where I can see all games through xfinity.

No Poppy, I want the MLB network through xfinity.

Then she has a great idea – to transfer me!

Next up!  Amalia.

Amalia is a more to the point gal.  She tells me right up front that she is an App person after only 15 minutes, which is nice.  But then after I tell her

again what I need, she said “No need to repeat yourself.”


“Amalia, unfortunately, I do need to … I have needed to 20 times this evening.”

Heh, I told her. But then again, she (along with everyone else was probably thinking …

She then transfers me to the great and powerful JAM.

JAM asks how he can help, so I say … Hi JAM! Congratulations!!! You have won the honor of being the 5th person I have been transferred to tonight.

JAM: I understand that you need access on viewing your favorite shows online, I know where you coming from as I also most of the time watch online shows.

Rest assured I’ll help today.

(Note they all say I should rest assured they will help.)

ME: ok JAM, as sure as a fish flies in the north from the cold butterbee, all I want is to be able to watch the MLB Network online using my computer and the internet as I don’t have television.


It is time to get serious now.  I go upstair to call because at this point, wifi is not coming up.  Forget MLB Network … I just want my wifi back!  Then… guess what?


Yes, friends.  Wifi is no longer working, and neither is my email address.  The phone tech gal said that it was due to an outtage, and it should be back up by the time I awake.

Really?  Is this true?  Was I becoming paranoid for nothing?  Did John, Rajani, Amalia, Poppy and JAM not have it out for me?  Was this all due to sporadic internet service?  But if so, how deep did this conspiracy run?   I asked the phone tech how it could be that my internet was up and wifi was not if there was an outtage.  She said that it can happen.

No sweat.  time to go to bed and have nightmares of the fearsome fivesome from comcast.

I wake up and guess what?  No wifi.  No email.

I call again, and I get what eerily sounds like the same woman from my dreams … errr … the tech support call the night before.  She ends up transferring me to another fella.  I don’t remember names anymore, so I’ll call him Edmund Buttersworth (5 points to those of you who know what that reference is from.)

Mr. Buttersworth mentions that wifi had been shut off, and my email had been deactivated!!!


I told Mr. Buttersworth that I highly suspected that the fearsome fivesome may have maliciously done this to spite me amongst their ramblings in a concerted effort to drive me insane.  He then confirmed that he agreed with me that it very well likely happened that way.  When asked about any emails I may have received in the interim, Mr. Buttersworth reluctantly told me that they were lost forever.

In the end, I have lost a LOT of time dealing with this and a whole lot to complain about while blogging.  Mr. Buttersworth did also credit me $20, which was nice.  Stay tuned to find out what that $20 will be spent on … hopefully a nice Canseco card that comes along today!

Oh, and a warning for everyone out there dealing with tech folks.  If they are:

1)  Named John, Rajani, Amalia, Poppy or JAM, run away screaming.
2)  If they assure you they will be able to help you, take it with a grain of salt and understand they probably will not.
3)  If they are being overly nice and complimentary, rest assure that they are probably shutting down your internet, stealing your identity and planning to run over your dog.

As for me, I suppose I’ll have to survive without the MLB Network forever…but at least I do have email and wifi back!